Wednesday, December 19, 2012

(More on) The Blame Game

(to see the first Blame Game click here)

Just thinking out loud...How does assigning blame help? Is assigning blame really that effective? It is a focus on what happened - past tense. Is what happened really the thing we want to focus on? Does it deserve THAT level of importance in our consciousness? I suspect healing never comes while focused on blame. It strikes me that when we feel helpless, we seek to find a reason, someone or something to blame, because somehow it gives us the illusion that we can control and fix things in the future. But while the pain of the past drives us to blame, there is nothing about the process that allows us to change what happened in the past - which on some level is what we really wish we could do. We really just want the pain to go away. Maybe blame helps in some way, but maybe it also gets in the way of healing the pain. And maybe it is pain unhealed that creates a cycle of more pain which creates more potential situations for blame? What if to truly heal we need to shift our focus from an external, helpless perspective to an internal one? What if it is the only source of "power" we have?

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