Monday, December 3, 2012

Don't you hate contradictions?

There are times I see perceived contradictions in what people say vs what they do. Someone might ask others to share what they have done or what is important to them, but not share what I have done or what is important to me. While I can appreciate there may be all kinds of reasons for this, on the surface it strikes me as a contradiction. 

Once I asked a person that I had helped for help. This was a person who - even in the same conversation we were having at the time - had acknowledged and thanked me greatly for that help. When the person declined, I made the comment that I was learning to ask for help. After all, if you don't ask, you don't even get a chance at a yes. Their response was that they were learning to say no. 

Ok. So I get that.

At the same time, given that I was acknowledged for what I had given freely, it seemed to me that I was perhaps not the best person to practice on. Perhaps interestingly, due to that, and another thing that was said in that same conversation, I no longer have a personal relationship with that person. Also interestingly, it was mentioned by that person - in that same conversation - that perhaps I could help them with something else.

Was there something missing in that conversation? Perhaps. Perhaps it would have been worth another conversation to say these things directly. I was just really put off at the time so it just didn't seem worth it. Maybe one day I will think otherwise. But in the meantime....

Why do I tell you all of this?

Sometimes I don't think we can always see how we might seem to contradict ourselves. If there is ever a time in which I seem to say one thing and yet do another, I would like to ask you to ask me about it/point it out to me. I would like to think I am mostly consistent these days...but the unconscious is really good at trying to cover up its tracks.


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