Once I asked a person that I had helped for help. This was a person who - even in the same conversation we were having at the time - had acknowledged and thanked me greatly for that help. When the person declined, I made the comment that I was learning to ask for help. After all, if you don't ask, you don't even get a chance at a yes. Their response was that they were learning to say no.
Ok. So I get that.
At the same time, given that I was acknowledged for what I had given freely, it seemed to me that I was perhaps not the best person to practice on. Perhaps interestingly, due to that, and another thing that was said in that same conversation, I no longer have a personal relationship with that person. Also interestingly, it was mentioned by that person - in that same conversation - that perhaps I could help them with something else.
Was there something missing in that conversation? Perhaps. Perhaps it would have been worth another conversation to say these things directly. I was just really put off at the time so it just didn't seem worth it. Maybe one day I will think otherwise. But in the meantime....
Why do I tell you all of this?
Sometimes I don't think we can always see how we might seem to contradict ourselves. If there is ever a time in which I seem to say one thing and yet do another, I would like to ask you to ask me about it/point it out to me. I would like to think I am mostly consistent these days...but the unconscious is really good at trying to cover up its tracks.
Thanks.
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I love you contradictions and all.
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