Monday, December 3, 2012

I Can't Do Everything I Want, How I Want, but...

This clip is from the movie Facing the Giants:

While this clip could make a case for how effective a coach can be in helping you meeting and/or exceeding your goals, it also is representative of something that Kyle Cease talked about this weekend.  He was talking about how our mind is an interesting thing in terms of how it deals with time and what is possible.

He had quoted an experiment in which 2 people were involved.  One had only a short period of sleep and the other 8 hours (I believe).  When they were awakened, the one who had had the short amount of sleep was told he had had 8 hours of sleep.  The one who had the 8 hours was told he only had the short amount of sleep of the other one.  

The two based what they felt on how much sleep they perceived themselves to have.  The one who had gotten the 8 hours was tired, and his eyes bloodshot.  The one with just a few hours was wide awake and feeling good.  Then...they were told the truth.  Apparently their demeanors reversed, and the bloodshot eyes were transferred to the other person.

Kyle also shared about how he was running one day and decided to keep telling himself that he had just started.  He wound up running longer/farther than he usually did.  He then had someone in our group get up on stage and do push-ups.  It was someone who had been in the military so he was able to do around 50 before he had to stop.  Over the course of a period of time, Kyle had him continue to go on stage and do more pushups followed by a break.  By the time he was done, he had completed nearly 200.  He had never done that many in one day.

Things like this make me think.  I found myself wondering about what is "real" in terms of what is possible with the feelings of the physical body.  I was feeling so tired and so sick, especially the first couple of days.   I wondered if I would have been able to alter the way I felt, or if there are just times that things are "the way they are."  As I wondered that, Kyle mentioned how he hadn't been feeling well, but altered his conversation around his circumstances, and wound up feeling much better as a result.

I would imagine there is more possible than we realize.  How much more, I do not know.  At the same time, I would imagine if one is willing to let another push them, it might just mean a result that exceeds expectations.  One of the keys, though, may be to keep part of your mind in the dark so that it doesn't have the ability to make something mean something that could limit you.

This may be something for me to play with at some point.  Although yesterday might have been something of proof of what is possible, as I probably only got an hour of sleep in a 24 hour period and still more than managed to get through what I needed to.  I wound up crashing afterward, though; so I am not sure how to register the results in totality.  But it does seem that there are times that things that don't otherwise seem possible do occur, despite what the mind may believe.

Makes me wonder what role being sick plays.  After all, it is a time we sometimes have to put everything on hold and focus on ourselves.  It might just be we need that.  But it also makes me wonder what is possible.  Maybe there are times we might be able to handle what we need to without being stopped.

The first day of my Vegas trip I wrote on Facebook that I didn't know if what I was doing was stupid, determined, or desperation or some eclectic cocktail of the above.  I said that because I was really pushing myself.  Given how sick I felt, I was hoping I wasn't making matters worse, since I wasn't a "healthy" person's sick.  I had heard of people who had chemo winding up in the hospital with some serious things.  

It took everything I had to be there.  It felt important for me to be there.  Even though I didn't feel great, I suppose things could have been a lot worse.  So maybe it was an instance where I had to just plow through, and my mind had no choice but to cooperate.  At the same time, I did what I could to take care of myself outside of the seminar, and reluctantly went to the doctor again the day before my trip, just so I could do what I could to manage what I felt.

There is every reason I could have stayed home.  For some there may have been every reason to stay home.  However I am glad that I managed to go.  I am sure the things that occurred will be trickling into my consciousness and experience over time.  So much of what Kyle said not only resonated for me, but was also things I have thought and said.  It was incredible to have such affirmation of things I have felt.   Now I just have to figure out how to implement them in a way that helps me make money/make a living.

I also have to figure out how much of a reality chemo and its effects still have in my life and experience.  I so wanted to act like everything was fine.  I want to do that every day.  The thing is, it isn't as fine as I would like.  I can't do everything I want, how I want.  

But maybe I can still do more than I think.

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