Saturday, December 15, 2012

Mistakes (Quote)

"Mistakes are proof that you are trying."


Not sure who said it.  What I said had
no attribution.  But I liked it.

I liked it because so often we are so
afraid of making mistakes that we do
not do anything.

I suppose there are ways to "try too
hard," but if life is in some ways a
school, and we are here to learn, the
only way we are going to is by being
in the game.

(Ok so I mixed metaphors...)

I haven't been perfect at any time in
my life.  The closest I may have come
is when I was a baby, sleeping.

I certainly haven't been perfect in
recent months or days.  At the same
time, I am IN the game.  I am IN
life.  For the first time in my life I
am claiming my existence.  I am
claiming my space to be here.

Wonder why I take so many pictures?
It is a way of me saying I AM HERE.
For so long I avoided pictures.  There
are many years in my life that I wasn't
represented.  I stayed away from being
in pictures for my yearbooks in school.

I wouldn't have even had a senior year
picture if it hadn't been required.

In stepping up, in sharing, I am making
noise.  I am drawing attention to myself.
It is so much easier to be quiet and
hidden.  No one pays attention to you.
No one has much of a chance to criticize
you.  It is no wonder I have had difficulties
getting myself out there to be seen.

And it is taking a lot not to retreat lately.
It is taking a lot not to recoil and just
go away.  I don't like to be attacked.  I
don't like to be criticized.  I don't like
how people can be.

I imagine I am not alone in this regard.

But it is taking me learning and growing
and stretching to not only allow myself
to be out there but to also be able to
interact with others who are in a different
place than I am, with a different mindset
than what I have.

It helps me to see things.  It also helps
me to see where I might still be lacking
and where I have grown.

The way I have dealt with it in the past is
to not deal with it.  I guess it might be a
bit difficult to help others if you aren't also
dealing with the types of things they are
trying to deal with.

Perhaps oddly enough though, people have
said how much I have helped them.  So I do
have a lot to offer.  I guess I am just being
compelled to grow, and offer more.

Part of me wants to say, "Will it ever end?"

Another part of me knows that when it does,
it will be because life as I know it will cease
to exist.

So, sadly (tongue in cheek), I must tell you
that it would seem I will be making a few
more (hundreds? thousands?) mistakes.

Oh well.  It occurs to me, though, that
maybe even though I said I wasn't perfect,
what happens in life IS perfection that is
unrecognized as such.

So maybe I am perfect after all, and mistakes
are just learning opportunities in disguise.

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