Many days there are articles about how people are
styling themselves wrong. I have read things about
how long a woman's hair should be, at what age
she should stop wearing shorts, short skirts.
There are so many freakin' rules about things. And
the thing is...many people obey them.
And those who don't...well they get scrutinized and
put down because they somehow don't know things
as well as those who are putting their choices down.
And it isn't just in fashion.
There are rules about what foods to eat. What foods
not to eat. What things to do. What things not to do.
What things to say. What things not to say. And on.
And on. And on. And...
It is exhausting. Don't you think? Exhausting to live
into what someone else thinks is best instead of just
being who you are and doing things the way you
feel comfortable doing them.
Isn't interesting to consider the fact that there is an
internal something that is often at odds with what
someone else has said, done, believed? Doesn't it
make you consider that maybe there is something
to it? A reason why you feel differently than what
you are supposed to?
It is a hypnotic state of sorts. And it takes sn extra
special something to shake oneself out of it. When
one comes out of a trance, it is an incredible feeling.
And sometimes you have no clue you are in one -
until you come out of it.
I am extremely sensitive to what is "right" and "wrong"
these days. A friend said I am going through a "teenage
rebellion" type of thing - but not in a bad way, she was
clear to say, LOL.
I have often seen things as relative. It is what my radio
show (World of Perspective Radio) was built upon.
But, now more than ever, I find myself wanting to
define things for myself. More than ever I want to carve
out things - as they suit me.
The problem when you do that is that others don't often
know how to deal with you. You don't fit into their
pre-labelled boxes. It is not an easy road to be on.
The irony I think, though, is that is what many of us
truly want. So many people that I have spoken to over
the years struggle with allowing themselves to be who
they are vs what someone else told them to be.
I wish I knew what "THE" answer was to this dilemma.
Of course I could say "just be yourself." Sounds so easy,
doesn't it? The thing is it really isn't. And it is even harder
when you have your environment working against you.
Couple that with the fact that it takes extra effort to be
yourself when you have been trained to be another way,
and you have a recipe for something most people would
rather give up on because it is too hard. And, not to
mention, it SUCKS.
Standing where I do now I can tell you that odds are good
you don't want to have your own life-threatening situation
to call you to be who you are. It is wonderful in some ways
being where I am now, but I wish it wasn't because of what
I had to go through.
In some ways I can't help but wonder how much farther
along my path I could have been if I could have just
propelled myself forward before this all happened. At
the same time, I think that maybe things just turned out
the way they were "supposed" to. Maybe I got as far as
I could on the path I was on, and I just needed this last
bit of learning and insight to get where I am now.
The beauty for me is that there is something in this - for me.
Not to be selfish, but I don't really care if you get something
for yourself out of my experience and situation, or not. As
a matter of fact, the farther along this path I go, the more I
think I have much more inside of myself than I realize,
and that if there is anything at all to "fix" it isn't something
that someone else says is needed, but rather the fact that I
need to allow myself to just "be" who I am. I need to
fix the fact that I have obstacles to allowing myself to be
who I am meant to be without outsider interference biasing
my inner world.
There are many pieces to life. Many of which truly are relative
and hurt only in ways that might disappoint another. Who is to
say what is right and what is wrong in an absolute - all human
encompassing - way? Why allow another this authority -
especially if it is at odds with who we are and who we want to be?
Just as I was wrapping this up...I got a message about my eyebrows
in the last video that I did. In the video I am not wearing a wig (but
had been prior to making the filming), and I noticed how they stood
out after I made the video. But there was not a thing I could do
What happened in the video was spontaneous, and there would be
no way to replicate it. So it was to share as is, or not share it at all.
The fact that you see it tells you what choice I made.
Did I do my eyebrows "wrong"? Some, I am sure, would say yes.
I might even agree. But you know what, in the grand scheme of
things...so what? Had I not had eyebrows at all, some may have
had something to think or say about that.
I suspect there are much bigger, more important, things to
focus on in life than the distractions we create for ourselves.
Interestingly, I think more often than not, those distractions are
more about what is wrong than what is right, too.
If that is the case, it is no wonder we are so hard on ourselves
and drive ourselves (and others!) as crazy as we do.