What do you do for fun?

Today someone asked me what I do for fun.

It is really difficult to answer  that question
in any way that the person may want to hear/
know.

I don't have money for "fun."
I don't have time for "fun."
I don't have energy for "fun."

I don't have much of a life these days.

Last night at the networking, I met two
different people representing products that
I have zero need for at the moment.

Funny how people think you have money.
It shows how clueless they are about how
a person in my position would be fiscally.
It is difficult to walk around telling people
that I don't have any.

I suppose I could just not say.  But, frankly,
I say what I say as a way to not get sold.
Do I want to be reminded that I don't have
money to spend?  Do I want to be reminded
that I am in a vulnerable position?  Do I want
to be reminded that I have no money for
retirement, and may not even get there any
way?

One person even mentioned a Will to me.
Not sure what he was thinking.  But I have
nothing to really consider in that regard.
I have no assets, and there is nothing to
fight over.

And...even if there was, I have a more
immediate need for food and other very
basic things than I do for a service I may
never need or use.  When I am gone, am I
going to really care what happens to my
things?

There is a part of me I want to protect, and
that is the things I put out into the world.
And should it ever look like my time is
coming, I will seek to find someone to
entrust regarding whatever I leave behind.
That doesn't need a Will.  That just needs
forethought and trust.

I share these things with you not in a way
to put these people down, but just to make
you aware.  If someone tells you they are
dealing with cancer, odds are likely pretty
good they are having difficulties financially,
and life as you know it - and how they
once may have know it to be - becomes
nothing like it was.  Hard to think about
"fun" or anything, really, outside of survival.

Over the summer I got to do a few things
when a friend came to visit.  It was because
he paid to do things that we did anything.
It was a bit awkward for me.   Although I
was incredibly appreciative.

Any time I meet someone new I try to be
careful where we go or what we do, as I
don't have the money to spend, and don't
always feel compelled to explain my situation
going in.  And may not even explain it in
the middle, depending on how I feel.

For some it might be an attitude of it's "just
$10."  For someone who is begging for even
$5, there is no such thing as "just" anything.