Friday, January 4, 2013

Things could be worse?

Things could be worse...so I am supposed to feel better?

Earlier tonight I put up a status on Facebook about how
sometimes people and circumstances can suck.

One of my friends made a comment about how things
could be worse, and that was supposed to help me.

I explained to her that she was correct, but that there were
times (like now) that knowing that doesn't really help.

Once again I can't help but think about the "fix it"
mentality.  How I am now feeling will be "fixed" by
the realization that things could be worse.

Sometimes people compare themselves to others.  One
mentions that something is happening, and the other
one tries to top it.  "Oh you couldn't possibly know
what suffering is. I..."

There is no comparison from person to person and
moment to moment.  Each moment is unique in what
it has to offer, and sadness for whatever reason is
sadness.  To try to remove that feeling from our
experience I would think is not necessarily the
"right" thing to do.

Processing pain (I am thinking) is likely better than
trying to minimize or remove it.  Am I right in believing

Who the heck knows?

I am sure there would be some who would argue
all kinds of things in regard to a question like this.

To be clear, I am not talking about dwelling in
something for long periods of time.  But then again,
what is "long?"  Maybe it will take a while to get
through something, and maybe that is OK.

Maybe all experiences in life "should" have equal
opportunity to exist in the moments that they occur.
If you're sad, be sad.  If you're happy, be happy.
If you're angry, be angry.  Whatever it is that you
feel, feel it.

Some would say that stuffed emotions cause
disease.  Do they really?  Who knows for certain?

But even if they don't, who wants to have stuffed
feelings?  There is a discomfort that comes from
feelings that aren't acknowledged.  There often is
a lot of discomfort.

And if we give ourselves grief over feeling the
emotions, odds are we won't allow ourselves to
really feel what is real for us in the moment -
because we "shouldn't" feel that way.  It is
wrong.  What is wrong with us that we can't be
OK?  What is wrong with us that we can't get
past something?

Maybe there is nothing wrong.  Maybe there is
everything right with this pain I am feeling.
Maybe it adds to my life in the same way
much of the goodness that I once felt from
the same situation did.

It just doesn't feel nearly as good.  Nearly?
Did I really say that?  It just doesn't feel good -
at all.  But no one ever said life was always
meant to feel good, did they?

So why do we act like someone did?


Feelings like this just freaking suck, and
because sometimes so do the people who come
along with them.

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