I was speaking with someone yesterday who I apparently never thanked for help. It isn't the first person to tell me so. Over and over I talk about how grateful I am for help. There are blogs I have spoken about it. When I have posted in GoFundMe I say how appreciative I am, and I have put it in videos. I am very grateful for everything anyone has done for me. I have thanked those who have sent me even "just" $1.00.
The thing is...
I know there are things that are slipping through the cracks. I don't want them to. But the cracks are pretty big. It is hard to describe how my mind works these days, because often it seems like it has a mind of its own. I could be sitting at the computer, see a donation, but then something distracts me even a second, and before long I am off doing something else. Often I am doing a better job of remembering things forgotten now than I did while under chemo, but I don't always remember.
It is very frustrating.
So why don't I put systems in place? I have tried. But then I forget that I did it. I forget where I put it. My life is a mess right now. It takes effort to do any and every thing. Interesting how you notice how the "smallest" of things take great effort when you have limited reserves. The things an "average"person takes for granted carry a different weight when you are dealing with the kind of thing I am dealing with.
I tell you this for a couple of reasons. One is just so you know. There have to be others who are judged for not carrying out what seems to be the simplest of things. It is no surprise to me that many in my spot have someone at the helm of their "campaign." It is easier for them to stay on top of things.
And, two, and personally more importantly, please know that if I do not thank you it is in no way intentional and in no way under- or un-appreciated. I value everything more than I could ever express.