From the Archives (Sr Year)

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I went to a small, private boarding school 8th through 12th grades. My grandmother thought it would be good for me. I hadn't gone to school much in the 7th grade, and it was only due to a kind German teacher, Dorothy Moskowitz, that brought me assignments, and taught me at home, I don't know that I would have made it to the next year.

As I am going through my stuff, it is hard to see pieces of my life, but not for the reasons you may think. It is hard because I find myself wondering if my yearbooks that once meant so much to me will wind up in the trash because they don't mean anything to anyone else. In a way, it feels like my life would be thrown there, too.

Ever since being diagnosed, I feel a stronger need than ever to make sure I leave an imprint here. I don't know if it is my ego talking, or just my soul taking hold and doing what I was supposed to be doing all along. 

It is an interesting question to contemplate.

I just did a bunch of scans from my Senior Yearbook. It is interesting to see the book, and be reminded of how much *I* touched it. There were pictures I took. There were images I was in. I was on the Yearbook Staff. I drew some images. I wrote content. But I may be one of the few who knows what I did personally, as it is not clearly labelled. 

A lot of life is like that. Things happen, but we don't necessarily know how they got there, who was responsible. That, I would imagine, is sometimes good and sometimes not so good.

I was quite active in High School. I got my first taste of Stage Managing, and LOVED it. For a time I thought I would do that for a profession. I hated the idea of acting. and despite people always wanting me to act I would always just say, "I don't act. I manage." Although I eventually managed to become a Thespian, due to being in a melodrama. I had to get acting credits to become one, so reluctantly I did it, but I got it in a way that I got to hide myself. I was covered, and in the audience lifting signs to encourage the audience to participate. I also had some fun painting the set for the play we were doing.

All students at school had to be a part of "Work Party," which essentially meant cleaning the campus. But it also meant working in the kitchen being a server, doing dishes, or doing some other needed work. In 8th grade I got to clean bathrooms in the main admin building. In 9th grade I got to be a kitchen foreman, which meant that I was the student in charge of a kitchen crew of 5. I think, if I remember correctly, i had been the youngest one to date. 

It was an awesome experience. I loved it. It may have frustrated me at times. But it was so awesome I did it the next year, and the one after that. In 11th grade I was eligible to become prefect which meant I was the student head of all of the foremen and additional responsibilities. I was told the only reason I didn't get it was because the adult head of the kitchen thought I would not be able to handle it with all of my 11th grade needs. I didn't agree, and sadly, I had no say in the matter.

Senior year everyone knew who was going to be prefect of the kitchen.

I also had been the Editor of our Literary Magazine. I can't remember if that was my Senior or Junior year, though. I know I was involved both years, one year as Business Manager (I think).

I also did not want my own Senior yearbook page and big picture. Even back then I hated my picture being taken. But they told me I HAD to have one. I really don't like the image above. Funny enough my hair there reminds me of my hair now (see recent video to compare). Hopefully I will like my hair better after Tuesday when I get my first "real" cut since my diagnosis.

There will be more to come for anyone interested.

(I also think it interesting to note that my quote is about "patience" and about having a lack of expectations.)