You May Think This is About Me (You'd be Right and You'd Be Wrong)

Today I received a response to a letter I wrote to someone requesting help. The letter was quite gracious, and it told me that to help the most number of people, funds only went to organizations.

It got me thinking.

I am not sure how I want to say all of this, and I am going to be working it out as I go, so you may have to have some patience if you continue reading (which of course, I hope you do).

I have asked for help several times in the last year. In the process of asking for help, I have restarted my radio show, I have offered hypnosis sessions, coaching sessions, I have spoken to the fact that there is a need for a voice for those dealing with cancer and have reluctantly stepped into it by the sharing of what is going on with me, I have offered help (Relatingtocancer.com) to anyone who is dealing with cancer, and much more.

I share this because my life's work is so not about me. It is about helping others be true to themselves, helping them find their inner peace and their inner voice. It is about helping in any way to have them be the truest version of themselves and feel not only OK about it, but embrace it.

When I am struggling like this, it is difficult for me to do these things. Not impossible. But extraordinarily difficult. And while it may seem that I am "just" one person who needs help like all of the "just" one other people out there, I am offering something tangible in exchange for any help. I am offering something that I believe the people in the world need.

And it is not something that I say just because I want it to sound good. 
I say it because people tell me this.

It is really hard to manage an illness and a business at the same time. Almost impossible. And yet, that is what I find I need to do to try to survive. I am not sitting back hoping that people will help. I am doing everything I can to move forward.

So while this may seem to be about me, it is, and it isn't. I guess I had hoped I had made that clear in the things I have said. At the same time, I know I have had moments when I have been clearer about my needs and circumstances than anything else.

I saw something on Paypal asking people to send something to "those in need," referring to the Oklahoma twister. There are thousands of people in need. In Ayngel's dying town, Nucla, are some of them. Ayngel is one of them. There are people in need on the streets. There are people every day being diagnosed with cancer and other major illnesses whose lives are being turned upside down, who are finding themselves in big holes they may never get out of.

"Those in need" are not just those who have the most immediate news story. There are those in need every day. Those who don't know what to do or how to do it. Those who have something to offer the world, but don't know how to get it out there. Those who are too busy trying to survive to do much more than that.

I hate talking like this. I hate drama. I hate the marketing machine that pulls on your compassion and sympathies. Not that you shouldn't help. It is more that you might want to consider who you are helping and how and, if in a position to do it, perhaps consider helping in a greater way - which may may not always mean money, by the way.

I am sitting here wondering how to put my money where my mouth is. People are giving me money - every dollar incredibly precious - and I would never want to take away from what they do for me. Recently someone had a great need and I gave $1. I had to. In some ways she had a need greater than mine.

It occurs to me that maybe I can find 30 people/needs to give to in the next 30 days, and I will give $1.

If I can do it, there is a good chance most of those reading this can, too.




If you know of any cases of those in need, please let me know. I will post the ones I give money to here. If you don't want to donate to me, perhaps you will consider donating to them.

To anyone who has given me money (and to those who would consider helping me), please understand that I appreciate it more than I could ever say.  I hope that you will understand why I am doing this. Perhaps you could look at it as I am spreading the good will around.

There is a much bigger picture here, and I want to do whatever I can to talk about it and explore it. It is a part of MY personal bigger picture. So many people need help, but don't get it, and don't get the attention of the media. If we all could really, truly appreciate the value of $1 to someone in need, we all might be amazed.

And to anyone who thinks that I must not need money that badly that I am giving some away, you couldn't be more wrong. I just truly believe there is something greater at stake in the world that I am extending myself in the most awkward and uncomfortable of ways in the hope of creating/finding something that will in some way help all of us. 

Anyone want to commit to doing this with me? Imagine what it would be like...If 30 people gave $30 over 30 days to 30 in need. Some say you need an organization to make an impact. I say we just need individuals to take action. I know how hard it is to give away money when you are dealing with life. I never did before my diagnosis, and I am not proud of it.

But I am going to change that. Starting now.