Spiraling

I think I wrote this in 2008. I have felt along these lines more than once in my life. I share it mainly because of the last lines.

I am sick to my stomach. I am numb. I feel very lost. Misplaced. I find it hard to believe that I feel so down, so forlorn  I don't know what to think, or feel. I don't know why I am here. I don't know why I was put on this earth, as it seems I haven't found my way. I haven't found my thing. All my life seems to be spiraling downward. Why am I here? I can't seem to control the spiral. I hear a laugh. Who thinks the spiral should be controlled? Or can be controlled?