Well.
Not really.
I have heard about these tests, but never had the opportunity to experience one until yesterday. When the oncologist said he wanted me to do one, it never really occurred to me what questions I should ask. I pretty much said OK without knowing much beyond the fact that if one is claustrophobic that is really important to know. And since I didn't consider myself that, I wasn't too concerned in that regard.
When I started filling out the paperwork, it told me a dye would be injected. It also said I was advised of the risks and of alternatives. None of which had occurred. My nervous meter was going off.
I really hate these types of things, and I momentarily came close to backing out. A technician came out and told me about how the test would be. It would be about 30 minutes. Images would be taken. Then I would be told to take breaths in and out after the dye was injected and more images would be taken. And then more images would be taken. And it would be really loud.
In the many years he had been doing what he had been doing, he had only seen 2 people react. Nausea was a possibility. There was something else, but I forget what it was now.
I asked if they could take the images without the dye. Yes was the short answer. The longer answer was that it might be harder to tell/see what they might be looking for.
He walked away and I was still uncertain about it. I wasn't clear as to whether it would be worth taking the MRI without the dye. I got on the phone and asked some more questions of the oncologist's team. Apparently in this case, there wasn't much of a point without the dye, and the only other option was a CT Scan, of which I am not a big fan, either and is radiation, which the MRI was not.
In the end, I agreed to the test as they wanted it. "One time," I told myself. One time, and I would find out what was up.
For anyone curious about what an MRI is like, it is definitely an experience. My MRI machine was actually an open ended one. And even though I might have thought that, and it may have kinda, sorta looked that way, once I was in that tunnel, it didn't feel that way. I was OK going in at first, but I think I gasped as my head went all the way under/in.
I had ear plugs in. I know some places have head sets and music and panic buttons. This place didn't seem to.
Quite frankly. I can see why some people would panic. A couple of times I think I could have been on a distant edge of it myself. I think a couple of things saved me.
1. My curious mind. I was listening to the sounds of the machine trying to figure out what they sounded like. One noise was like a jackhammer. Another was like a metal clanking against a pipe. Another was much more rhythmic and constant (listen to video below).
2. I closed my eyes. I told myself that I was somewhere else. With your eyes closed you can imagine anything, and you don't have think about the fact that the machine is so close to you.
3. I told myself over and over that every sound I heard was relaxing me more and more and more and more.
You are not supposed to move with these tests. It is very hard. My arms were numb and asleep by the time the test was over. At one point the tech told me he detected movement. I told him all I was doing was breathing. He told me to stop breathing. Smart ass. Of course he added "just kidding." My kind of tech, LOL.
I was breathing very deeply. When you breathe deeply, your diaphragm moves. I wondered if that mattered. But he never said it again, so I don't know what happened. Not only does your diaphragm move, breathing deeply can be very relaxing, and I am sure that helped me stay relatively calm. (I wondered at one point what happens if you sneeze. I think I read somewhere there is a way to stifle a sneeze, and as I lay on the table, I was wishing I remembered what it was :)).
There were times that it would get quiet and then there would be sudden, loud, jarring noise. It would be the kind that would make almost anyone jump in an outside environment. I know I jumped internally more than once.
I also felt like I was being pulled to the left while in the machine and when leaving, I felt like I was still being pulled to the left as I was walking. It was a very weird sensation.
At one point I opened my eyes and there was lots of light - enough to see that I had no room to move. They didn't stay open very long.
They told me, too, that the dye would be in my body for about 24 hours.
Below is a video that shows a machine. I am not sure why they are showing what they are, but I show it to you, in part, because of the sound. It is one of the most frequently heard during the test.
I share this one because it looks something like the machine I was in. I don't remember the brand of machine, so maybe it was even it, but I am not certain. But it is close enough to give you an idea.
In the next blog I will tell you about what they told me after the test. I wrote this blog first because it was easier. So much is going through my mind about yesterday, and I am trying to sort it out to explain.
Short version, spots still there.
No comments:
Post a Comment