Caregiver Perspective (Guest Blog)

Every person's experience with the "thing" called cancer is unique. Each person travels their own road and is empowered in the way that works best for them and their circumstances. I recently began offering the opportunity for guest blogs because I believe that we can all learn something from each other. Not every perspective will work for every person, but you never know when there may be one juicy cherry that comes from another's experience.

The following is from Cameron Von St. James. If you would like to learn more about Cameron and his cancer journey as a caregiver, or about his wife Heather, you can visit their blog by clicking here. 

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Thanks for your contribution Cameron, 

and I hope that you and your family 

continue to have the joy your pictures relay.

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Learning from Cancer: The Things You Don't Expect

I'll never forget the holidays in 2005. It was one of the most troubling times for my family. On November 21st, 2005, I went to the doctor with my wife Heather, not expecting anything like what happened. As we sat together, I knew I was a lucky man.

We had Lily, our first and only child born just three months earlier, and each other. Minutes later, the doctor told my wife that she had malignant pleural mesothelioma. This was the exact moment that my family changed forever, and we never saw it coming. 

I began my life as a caregiver on that day. I remember feeling captive in my body, without speech, without the ability to make any sound, but just looking at my wife made me feel extremely panicked. She was crying, and looked shocked and paralyzed with fear. How could we be expected to make any decisions in that moment? However, that was what we needed to do. The doctor started talking about treatment. I had no idea what hospitals even had specific programs for this kind of cancer. Our doctor recommended a specialist in Boston. I knew that it was the only choice I had to make to save my wife. We both agreed, "Get us to Boston."

Our lives were dealt a rough hand. We had both been working, but we had never expected this to happen as well.  Heather had to leave her job shortly thereafter, and I had to reduce my hours in order to provide my wife and daughter with the care they needed.  It was up to me to both work and take care of things around the house. There was no way I could do it all, but I thought I had to in order to be strong for my family. I was wrong. It started getting out of control, and there were many times when I stayed up late unable to sleep with so much stress pounding down on me. If I had reached out for help sooner, I think I could have saved myself a lot of trouble.

Heather's family were the first ones to give us strength. They were there throughout the holidays that year, and they also provided much needed help with Lily. They provided a place for her to consistently live and grow as my wife and I went through treatment and recovery. It was definitely one of the most difficult moments of my family's journey, but it was something that needed to happen to remind me that I wasn't alone and that I had a family who was always going to be there for us.

My strongest advice to anyone going through a similar situation is to accept every offer of help that comes your way.  And don’t be afraid to ask for help, either.  There will always be people, friends, family or even kind strangers who will be willing to lend a helping hand.  Use them. 

Over the following months, Heather would undergo intense mesothelioma surgery, chemotherapy and radiation treatments in the attempt to rid herself of this terrible disease.  In the end, she was able to defy the odds and beat mesothelioma.  Now, over seven years since her diagnosis, she remains cancer-free and healthy.

Now, we hope that by sharing our story, we can help inspire all of those people who are still fighting through their own cancer battles.  Never give up hope, and never stop fighting for the ones you love.