The Party Has Started

I ran into a site cancerandcareers.org recently that I
had no idea existed. It is a great idea, though, as how
to manage dealing with cancer and work is likely a
tough thing.

It is interesting how when you find yourself interested
in something how a whole new world of things open
up in the process. I say it is a good thing that it happens,
but not so good things that sometimes precipitate it.

In looking at the site and thinking about work, it does
occur to me that there could be significant issues with
publicly sharing about an illness. HIPAA (the privacy
regulations) pretty much go out the window.

If someone was to look me up on the web at this point,
my name is all over the place. It would be incredibly
difficult (if not impossible) for me to cover up the fact
that I have been dealing with cancer and its effects.

While it is illegal for a company to not hire you on the
basis of a diagnosis, one might be hard pressed to prove
that that was "the" reason if not hired - especially in the
kind of market we are in currently.

I really didn't want to go and find a job before my
diagnosis, which is why I did everything I could to
make my money on my own, which I have done for
years now. It hadn't been easy, and so often helpful
people would tell me to get a job. Like that would have
been an easy thing to do either!

Once diagnosed, I felt I had to "go public" given the
help I needed (and still do). As a result I am out there
in a big way, and there is no going back.

I talk about this because while I am free to wave the
flag and talk about things, not everyone is. And that
might be part of the reason not much is heard about
what happens with those who deal with cancer.

(I suspect part of it has to do with embarrassment and
feeling humiliated, too, but that is another - separate
yet related - piece.)

For this reason, I feel now, more than ever I need to be
a mouthpiece and speak up for those who feel they can't.
I feel I need to let people know what is going on behind
the veil of secrecy. I feel a need to inform/educate.

(As an interesting side note, I always wanted to be a
teacher when I was a kid. In college I considered going
the "teacher route." I never became a teacher in a
traditional sense, but it is clear to me that my life is
very much about "teaching.")

So the part of me that used to get into trouble for talking
too much and saying things I probably shouldn't have is
now the part that needs to step forward and talk a lot
and say things I probably shouldn't. I could do without
the getting into trouble part, though. :P

I really have no idea what this means. I really have no
idea how to do it, what to do, who to do it with, but I
don't think it is going to stop me.

As a matter of fact, I am seriously considering doing
some things that are less than perfect, less than ideal,
and putting them "out into the world." So many times
we get stopped because it is not perfect. Because it
isn't the way it "should" be.

I know it will be judged, which means *I* will be judged,
but I am slowly getting to the point of what the hell, um,
heck. LOL. Who really freaking cares? Why do we care
about the things we do? We care about so much that probably
doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things - and
certainly won't matter after I take my last breath.

Over time I am putting myself out more and more. I am
determined to have people know that I WAS HERE. I
am not the silent, invisible, wanting to disappear person
I once was. So it is about time to make even more noise.

Anyone want to make some noise with me? Anyone want
me to make some noise for them? Let me know.

The party has started.

(Got myself all excited there...LOL...just hope to live up to what I wrote. The part of me that has long hidden isn't so sure about all of this, but I *AM* working on it. You never know when that last breath is going to come, and I am convinced I need more than ever to breathe life into this existence of mine.)