Today's Randomness

I am tired.

I don't feel too swell, either.

Kinda sniffly.

Tomorrow I have a bunch of things to do, and I am
hoping that I am up for it. It's gonna be a long day.

I would like to be social, and do something fun,
but I don't know that I will be up for it.  I may have
to see what I can do about going to bed soon, and
trying to get the most/best sleep I can, while not
breathing too well.

I don't want to do it, but it may be a NyQuil kind
of night.

I wanted to share so many things I have been
finding...but I don't feel up to it.  It may have to
wait for another day, week, month.  I am
finding it is taking me long periods of time to
get things done.

This evening I did two things that needed to get
 done tonight, or I would have lost out.  I kept
thinking about both of them, and then forgetting,
and then remembering, and forgetting and...

I am just glad I remembered.  One of them is an
application to get some financial assistance.  It may
only be a small amount of money, but whatever it
is, it will be helpful and needed.  I had a doctor's
bill to pay, two months of phone service, and my
car registration.

Ouch.

Today I was also contacted by someone who wants
to write about their experience as a caregiver.  I am
thrilled.  I am not thrilled that there is even a story to
write about, but it is a story I am thrilled to be a forum
for this person to share.  It is exactly one of the types
of things I am looking for in guest blogs.

If you know of anyone who has something to
contribute to a greater audience, I am all ears. Just
check out my contact page for info on how to reach me.

Today I also "sat in" on a Twitter chat.  Twitter is
an amazing place.  You can get so much info there,
it can make your head spin.  Interestingly, I found
out about the chat through a Facebook Group that
I hadn't visited in a bit, and I found out about it only
an hour or two before.  It seems like I was supposed
to be there.

For what specific reason, who the heck knows?
But I am certain one of the reasons was the conversation
about the issues that those who are recovering from 
treatment are facing (Click to see transcript of the
conversation).  Some would call these people
"survivors."  (As you may know, I am not so big
on the term.) It was awesome for me to hear people
talking in a language that I understood.

At the same time that I appreciated it, I found myself
in an interesting space about it. A lot of the talk seemed
to be centered on what can be done by the medical
profession to take care of people like me.

And while I think it is awesome in some ways, I am
uncertain in others.  So many times when the medical
profession/insurance is involved, it can create more
problems/headache than be helpful.

I tend to think that people can be helped a lot by those
around them - if only those around them understood 
more/better.

But...

It is a new place to become acquainted with, and I left
feeling like I have "homework" to do.  So many there
have written blogs and have done what they can to
share their experience.  I want to spend some time with
them, and get to know them better.

How in the world I am going to be able to do everything
I need to do and want to do, I have no clue.

Today someone told me that he was glad to see me
"thriving."  I don't know that I exactly see me in that way.
I even went to look up the definition.  Could it be that I
am thriving and not know it?

In some way, I could be as I am moving in an upward,
positive direction.  The problem for me, though, is that I
don't feel like I am thriving. I feel like I am surviving.

And there is a big difference.

Tomorrow a guest blog that I wrote will be published.
Once I know it is up, I will link to it, and share it with
you.  I appreciate that blogger's generous spirit, and
hope to do some more.

So much to do. And all I want to do right now is sleep.

How dare my body want rest?! :P