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Monday, February 18, 2013

"It's Not My Problem"

Love thy neighbor?
A friend of mine is having some issues in regard to his property. Given the way things are set up, if he fixes his problem in isolation, he will pass the problem on to one, or more of his neighbors.

Given that he is so conscientious, he has decided to reach out to his neighbors and see if there is a way to fix it collectively. He went to a neighbor's house to inquire as to whether or not he could have their cooperation.

The response of the person he spoke with when my friend explained the issue of the potentially moving problem?

"Well it's their problem, then."

What if the "problem" of the world we live in is a
problem of identification? What if we have issues as
a culture because no one wants to claim a problem
as their own until they are faced with it?

The "funny" thing about this, I think, is that in isolation
there are likely few problems. But then - when a
problem hits - it is not only my problem to be dealt
with personally, but then it should be something
everyone else looks at, and should deal with on some
level, too.

I would imagine most laws come from that place.
A person had a problem, and got others to see his
problem in a way that demanded laws and legislation.
Those who spoke the loudest and longest are the ones
who probably won this "prize."

When it comes to things like this, I am guilty. I never
really noticed or cared about things labelled "cancer"
before my diagnosis. But once I came into this world
of cancer, my eyes have been opened to a whole new
world.

Could I have seen it before?

I am guessing yes.

But the thing was, I wasn't apparently willing or able,
because it wasn't until it became my problem that I
really took note. And then, because it was an issue
for me, I became vocal, and therefore those around me
could choose to tune out ("it's not my problem") and
move on or in some way engage.

When we care about our neighbor, we can ultimately
care about ourselves. We never know when something
we do for another may come back and be helpful to us.

A friend of mine - before he was a friend - sought my
help with something. I was more than happy to help,
but he said he that felt he should help me. I kept
refocusing things as I didn't expect anything for the help
I was offering.

I could have potentially have met him and his "problem"
and kept going. After all, his issue wasn't my issue.
But I didn't.

Well...

He was persistent, and it turns out that he helped me
not with just one thing, or two, but with a whole lot
of things, and not only that, I have been living in his
house for the last two years.

While you may be someone who has no family history
of cancer, while you may be someone who has no
neighborhood issues to resolve, while you may be
someone who has a job, a family, and food on the
table, friends to share life with, while you may have
many good pieces and parts to life, there could come
a time things could change, and change drastically, and
if that was to ever happen, wouldn't it be good to know
that someone, somewhere thought enough of the stranger
that was you to put something in place to help you fix
your problem? Wouldn't it be good to know that those
around you would be willing to help you, even though
they didn't have to because it's not their problem?

I don't know where the "lines" are drawn, or should
be drawn, or if they should even be drawn, but what I
do know is that it is very likely we could take more
note and do more than we do. We could open our
hearts and minds wider than we do. We could realize
that sometimes looking after another means looking out
for ourself.

And we could realize that while we may think something
that is a problem for another is not personal, if we are
exposed to it, it might be to our benefit to treat it as 
though it is.



1 comment:

  1. There are so many problems in this world, and there is only so much our attention span can handle. Then something like cancer comes along and slaps you in the face to get your attention. Once you have seen something, its impossible to unsee it.

    Its true, many of the sweetest relationships in my life came from stopping to help another with their problem. Friendships blossomed.

    Survivors become Thriver, they pass their healing on. You have now become an advocate for those who did not have a voice before.

    ReplyDelete