Newly Diagnosed with cancer?

I am sitting here, on a rainy/snowy day thinking about
many things. One of those things was me wondering what
I could say to someone who has been newly diagnosed
with cancer.

As you read this, there may seem to be negative or
unpleasant things. Sorry to say, there are negative and
unpleasant things in life, and we can pretend otherwise
if we want to, but sometimes it is more helpful to call
a spade a spade.

At the same time, I believe we know what is best for us
more than anyone else does. For that reason, if something
tells you it is best to stop, then please listen. You can 
always come back another day.

What your experience will be from this point on will have
much more to do with who you are and what you do with
it than what anyone tells you it will be or could be or
should be.

Living is like going to an endless school, and you just got
a required course called "cancer" (and don't the required
courses usually suck the most?) We learn about life by
living. You will learn more about life living with a cancer
diagnosis.

So here are a few things I offer you:

1. It sucks.

There is no two ways about it. Your life just got turned
on its head. One of the best things you could do for
yourself right now is be who you are. If you don't know
who that is, it is practically guaranteed you have been
given an opportunity to find out.

2. There will be those who will avoid you.

While that will suck, too, you don't have time to deal
with the stuff they can't deal with. It may be difficult
to cope with, especially if they are someone you thought
was close. Do what you can to focus on what you need
to right now, and do what you can to find alternatives.

3. You will find out where you stand with many in your life.

Those who you thought you could depend on may go MIA
(Missing In Action). Those you had no idea could (or would)
step up will.

4. You will get all kinds of advice. 

Which should you take? It may even be overwhelming at times.
You will get advice who to be, what to say, how to do things.
You know, just like regular life. :P But now it may seem like
a lot more, and it will be about something that many who try
to help may not even fully understand.

5. Find a way to express yourself.

There will be times you will want to scream, yell, cry and
who knows what else? Here is an opportunity to allow yourself
to be as ugly as you need to be. People will probably not
like it. But you are going to find out sooner or later that
those who love you will still be there when you are done,
and that it doesn't really matter what others think.

6. There is a learning curve.

You will learn much more about things than you ever wanted to.
You can "do" cancer however you choose to do it. You may
just allow the doctors to do whatever they tell you should
be done. But there will be things that you likely will have to deal
with that you will need to find ways to cope and understand.

7. There will be challenges you never expected.

Being treated for cancer is not the same as being treated
with antibiotics for an infection. It is something that
will be your companion for some time to come. You will find
dealing with it to be more challenging in ways you never
anticipated.

Things I learned about while being treated:

(I am sure there is more, but it is a start. I may amend in time.)

+How to cope with constipation (naturally, and with OTC products)
+How to cope with diarrhea (naturally, and with OTC products)
+What to do to keep electrolytes up (and if they're not up how horrible you can feel)
+How to not throw up (naturally)
+How to cope with losing my full head of long, curly hair
+How painful a gas attack can be (and what to do about it)
+How painful Neulasta can be (and what to do about it)
+How to raise my platelet count
+How to have fun with wigs
+How to choose a wig
+Which color of wig to choose
+How to put on a wig
+How to thin out a wig
+How to trim a lace front wig (and what a lace front is)
+How warm wigs can be in the summer
+How best to comb a wig
+How to draw eyebrows that look relatively realistic
+How I don't really like fake eyelashes
+How to pull attention away from the fact that I had no eyelashes
+How to have my blood pressure lower at the end of treatment than
    at the beginning
+How a port can be put in your arm, but is a more difficult placement
+How my active mind can be silenced by chemo
+How easily I could fall asleep mid-sentence
+How easily I could forget what I was saying mid-sentence
+How easily I could forget the simplest and most basic of words
+How to ask questions of my doctors and avoid unnecessary tests
+How to appreciate Reiki, Acupuncture, Massage, Reflexology
+How to even more greatly appreciate Hypnosis
+How to just be myself
+How to express myself without inhibition
+How to be responsible to myself while minimally exposing myself
    to things that would be unhelpful/scary
+How to make the choices that were/are best for me
+How to ask for help
+How to beg for help
+How positive everyone wants to be for me, and how few can handle
     me being anything less than positive (I have heard more about
     The Secret than ever!)
+How much people don't understand about my experience
+How people admire those who speak frankly and freely -
      but mostly from a distance. Many can't handle it when it
      is up close and personal
+How the experience of cancer continues, even after treatment ends

So, as you can see, there's lots of opportunity to learn! :P

WOo HOo.

Yeah. I know. You are probably so not there.

I get it.

You are wherever you are, and you will need to find your way through
this in whatever way works for you. The bad news is no one can really
tell you how to do it (but oh how they will try!), but the good news is 
that you really can't do it wrong.

Sending you much love, and hope for a complete and speedy recovery,
or at the very least some peace of mind.

Elizabeth

(PS if you are new here...This blog is about my experience with ovarian
cancer. I am now out of treatment and am looking to use my experience
along with my experience as a hypnotist and life coach to help those who
are having their own issues and concerns with cancer. If you think I can
be of help, please be in contact. 

You can also check out Relatingtocancer.com for more info)