What Makes You Feel Empowered?

I saw something about a woman who is a breast cancer 
survivor who got a chest tattoo. There is a comment from
someone who says something about how he doesn't
see how that could be empowering for anyone.

When I first saw that, I knew I wanted to write something
about it. When I went back to get the link, I noticed that
there were a number of responses to the comment, one
of which speculated on what could be an empowering
reason to do it.

The person who posted the initial comment responded
in a way that acknowledged that person's attempt to
explain it, rather than just jump all over him, as others
had.

I thought that was interesting perspective for me. I wasn't
going to jump all over him for what was said, but I was
definitely jumping on his perspective of what one might
consider empowering.

The last words of the original commenter were, "If you
were really proud of who you are, I would think you
would not give a fuck what anyone else thinks about
your scars, yourself included. THAT is empowering."

I wonder if the person ever had something happen to him
that he felt he couldn't control. I wonder if there was
ever anything about him he wished he could change.

It is one thing to make a choice. It is another thing to
have something thrust upon you.

It is "easy" to say that one can feel empowered in
acceptance of something, and maybe someone can.
At the same time, why is there a need to accept it on
the terms given? If there is something that can be done
to make one feel better about oneself, and it is something
desired by that person and feasible to obtain, then why
not do it?

I did not want to always be reminded that I had a chemo
port. The usual placement is in a place that many would
always see - including me. So I had it placed lower, in
an unusual place.

It was my choice to make the decision, and one may say
it was "empowering." I don't know if being caught between
a rock and a hard place and choosing the rock is empowerment,
but what I do know is that I feel better about where it is
than where it could have been (and yes, I still have it).

And so many have commented about its placement - and
not in a good - or helpful - way.

Who are we to decide what is best for another? Who are
we to decide what is empowering for anyone - except
ourselves?

That commenter may have just been asking a question. It
may just be that how it was said rubbed people the wrong
way because of how they interpreted what he said. In turn,
they judged him.

The series of comments is a reminder to me that words can
sometimes be so inadequate to express how we really feel -
especially when other people are involved.

The woman who got the tattoo expressed a message, too.
But it wasn't necessarily one meant for the masses. It may
have been something deeply personal. It may not have even
been about "empowerment" at all.

You would think by now that since everything can be
translated in so many different ways, we would stop jumping
to conclusions and jumping all over each other. Maybe there
are times we are "right," but I am guessing there is often
something off about our assessments.

I wrote about how I hadn't heard from my friend and her
partner, and took it to mean something it did not mean at all.

I suppose we are wired to see things through our eyes and our
experience. The difficulty with that, though, is that it is possible
that our interpretations of what happens in life are only one
possibility. There are others. And while we are busy overlaying
what we believe to be true over another person's words and
actions, we are likely missing some perspective that helps us
to truly connect to another.

(The irony, of course, is that while we may do it, I don't know
anyone who likes it done to them.)

It occurs to me that when we do what we do, we are reacting
to a person, a comment, a situation. And when we react rarely
are we truly empowered.

We are more likely to have an open mind, and have an opportunity
to make a better choice than a reaction would likely allow, when
we are able to take a step back and consider what we are doing
before we do it.

Because the choices made suit the WHO of who made them, we
just have to be prepared that the what, where, when, how
and why of what we do for us is going to possibly leave others
scratching their head, or butting heads with us because they just
don't understand.

If that is the way things need to be, maybe we could use a little
padding once in a while so we are less likely to hurt each other
in the process. :P